In the New Testament the church is frequently described as a family. Whilst the people within the church are, mostly, not blood related, the concept of a different type of family pervades biblical thinking. A clear indication of this thinking is in Ephesians where it declares: So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God.

What then do we make of such a family? Presumably the household of God should be devoted to the teachings of God and to living as it teaches in His word. As the ‘family members’ aim to do this, not only do they come to a greater understanding of who God is, they also grow in their knowledge and service of one another.

At least, they should.

This sort of growth – both towards God and towards each other – can only happen when family members are behaving in a manner worthy of the gospel. Unfortunately, just like regular families, the family of God can be dysfunctional.

Last Christmas, while having lunch at Wayside Chapel, I spoke with people who had plenty of issues in their families, which is why they were having lunch with another type of family, one where they felt welcome. One woman I spoke with that day said, “I think everyone’s family is dysfunctional. It’s just some people admit it and others don’t.”

It’s a good point.

Everyone wants to look like they have a happy family, but it can be a complete façade. What about the church? Does the church pretend to be playing “Happy Families” but in reality it’s a façade? Unfortunately, having a righteous veneer with a hidden darkness is nothing new. Consider these lines from the book of James:

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.

This is a far cry from what the family of God should be like. When we walk through the doors of church we should be ministered to in order that our hearts might heal and we be reminded of the way in which Christ has saved us from sin and death.

Not to be threatened with it.

Growing up, I and my brothers spent a lot of time in our next-door neighbours’ house. The couple were a little older than our parents so we referred to them as ‘aunty’ and ‘uncle’ despite the fact that they weren’t related to us at all.

We would often share a Christmas lunch with them with all the courses, a plum pudding and the lot. Because they were a type of family, it would have been strange not to celebrate Christmas with them.

What about the church? How do we show that we are a type of family?

Through service that goes against the grain.

Paul describes the exemplar response of the Macedonian churches in Corinthians:

And now, brothers and sisters, we want you to know about the grace that God has given the Macedonian churches. In the midst of a very severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own,they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the Lord’s people. And they exceeded our expectations: They gave themselves first of all to the Lord, and then by the will of God also to us. 

Here is a church that is using their every means – power, position, ability and wealth – in the service of the kingdom. Here is a church that has the right understanding of what it means to be ‘the household of God’. Here is a church that knows how to usher in revival, first in their own hearts and then in others’.

This is what true church looks like. This is what true family looks like.

As Paul says elsewhere,

Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. And in fact, you do love all of God’s family throughout Macedonia. Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more…

And with God’s help, we will.

Yours recovering from dysfunction,

Alison